This is sooo definitely the story of the day:
THE Soviet dictator Josef Stalin ordered the creation of Planet of the Apes-style warriors by crossing humans with apes, according to recently uncovered secret documents.
Moscow archives show that in the mid-1920s Russia's top animal breeding scientist, Ilya Ivanov, was ordered to turn his skills from horse and animal work to the quest for a super-warrior.
According to Moscow newspapers, Stalin told the scientist: "I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat."
Hell, if that's all he wanted, Stalin coulda just cloned my dad Hank.
The New Soviet Man: half-man, half-ape, all Drago.
What I don't understand is what Stalin was trying to gain here. I mean, forget the gulags and the nuclear weapons-- half-man, half-ape hybrids could lead an ape revolution that would make Lenin's shindig seem like a cocktail party. If only Chuck Heston had been alive back then-- he's both anti-communist AND anti-ape.
Of course, in hindsight, you can't really blame Stalin for seeking whatever advantages he could. Especially given the half-man, half-ape soldier development programs underway in other nations:
Damn dirty fascist man-apes. . .
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UPDATE: I see that Garfield Ridge reader Slublog highlighted this story in the comments. I came in late to work this morning-- doctor's appointment, I've got the croup-- and my first stop was Drudge, where I saw this story.
That said, hat tips don't cost nothin', so Slublog, hat tip to you.
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