As part of her schooling, the better half began a clinical today at a gynecological clinic for teenagers. These are her stories.
A girl, 19, comes in complaining of vaginal pain. Her sexual history: began having intercourse at age 15, has had *20* partners in the ensuing four years. Has a raging case of bacterial vaginitis, a.k.a. the wretched stinky stuff. BV could be the culprit for her pain, but unlikely. She also has a urinary tract infection.
First step, determine the likely cause of the UTI:
The Nurse: "So, have you ever had anal sex?"
The Nurse: "Are you sure? Because if you've had anal sex and subsequently vaginal sex without cleaning the penis, that could result in the UTI."
Patient: "No, I haven't had anal sex. I've got to save something for marriage."
After further discussion, it was determined that the likely cause of the girl's pain was because, in her words, her "boyfriend is huge, like an elephant."
Next patient: 18 years old, also complaining of pain. Same problems: BV and UTI. Again, time to rule causes out.
The Nurse: "Do you douche a lot? Because if you do that often, you can upset the natural balance in there."
Patient: "No, I don't. Wait, I know what is probably is!"
The Nurse: "Yes?"
Patient: "Is it bad when you go from the pooter to the cooter?"
Yes, dear. . . it's bad when you go from the pooter to the cooter.