The Onion. Ahhh, love in your thirties. . .
Though they credit their meeting to luck and a well-timed impulse to settle for what they can get, both agreed that it takes more to build a relationship healthy enough to stave off thoughts of suicide for another few years—namely, an unusually high threshold for deep character flaws.
"Paul can be so self-pitying, and his humorless earnestness can be suffocating, but I know that a lot of that came from being single for a long time, so I do my best to empathize," Ridenour said. "And I know he can get annoyed by my tendency to obsess over old boyfriends and my xylophagia. I forgive his little quirks, and he's willing to forgive mine. It's a perfect balance."
While these traits might provoke other, less impetuous couples to see the writing on the wall and end their relationship, Klein said his and Ridenour's commitment to lowered standards and desire to have someone to list as an emergency contact are strong enough to get them through any rough patches.
"Sometimes I think, 'If I have to hear that grating voice for one more second, I'll kill us both,'" Klein said. "But then I remember all the nights I spent crying myself to sleep holding a body pillow, and I find the strength to love again."
FYI, Xylophagia is a condition involving the excessive consumption of wood. That's usually been a dealbreaker in my book, unless, of course, it's MY wood she's consuming.