National Review Online's John Derbyshire is in quite the confessional mood today, playing one of the oldest parlor games around, "I Never."
In the spirit of things-- namely, padding my post count-- I figure I might as well offer my own "I Never" list.
-- advanced beyond Tenderfoot in Boy Scouts.
-- learned how to roller skate, skateboard, ski, or surf.
-- left the continent of North America.
-- learned a foreign language well enough to speak it conversationally.
-- purchased a textbook for any of my undergraduate classes after my sophomore year.
-- threw a punch in anger (shoving, kicking, and head-butting doesn't count).
-- drank Absinthe.
-- had sex in Chicago, or Los Angeles (the two places I lived the longest other than D.C.).
-- memorized all the words to a song other than The Star-Spangled Banner.
-- missed a mortgage payment (so far-- fingers crossed!).
-- gone snorkeling, scuba-diving, or deep sea fishing.
-- learned how to play Chinese Checkers, Hearts, or Spades.
-- beaten Halo 2.
-- finished the first season of Lost on DVD.
-- had a one-night stand.
-- joined the Mile High Club.
-- been to a NASCAR race.
-- gotten a speeding ticket (knocking on wood!!!).
-- was confirmed in the Catholic Church.
-- cheated on a test.
-- cheated on a girl.
-- been shot at.
-- broke a bone other than my nose.
-- won at a game of pool.
-- have seen the Gulf of Mexico.
-- had measles, mumps, or a cold sore.
-- lie, except to myself. Oh, and telemarketers, but they don't count, do they?