Garfield Ridge

Saturday Night.

At home.

Boring. Real boring.

Oh well. . . at least there's a new Saturday Night Live on tonight.

Yup, this is the life!

More Crazy Indian Midget Fighting.

Wow, I just love this little guy.

If by "love," I mean "Suffer nightmares that parallel the worst H.R. Giger paintings imaginable."

The Greatest Sports Show On Earth.

Where else? China: 



This is just the latest shocking picture to emerge from the Animal Olympic Games which is being held in China, a country with a shameful animal rights record.

Hmmm. China also has a shameful human rights record. But we all know that seeing small, cute and furry animals being exploited tugs on the heart strings so much more than seeing small, ugly and furry Chinese people being imprisoned.

Chimpanzees are forced to play basketball and apparently lift huge weights, while a docile brown bear is dressed in a tutu while navigating a makeshift obstacle course in one of the strangest events ever to be staged.

Actually, not all that strange. Why, just last night I was dressing my own docile brown bear in a tutu, if you know what I mean.

Wait-- *I* don't even know what I mean. Man, that was a rough night.

Brilliant Idea.

Technically, I can't blame Bill Simmons for this-- one of his readers submitted it:

Q: When are we going to see the Little League World Series of Poker?
--David P., Philadelphia

SG: You, sir, are a genius. I would watch this every night. The unparalleled tension of the spelling bee crossed with the unabashed exploitation of the Little League World Series. I'm making this my signature series when they put me in charge of ESPN6.

I dug this one, too:

Lauren Y. (Phoenix, AZ): Now that the Madden Curse has struck again, who would you like to see (athlete or celeb) on the cover of next year's game?

Bill Simmons: I got some great e-mails about this yesterday. My favorite suggestion was Joe Buck. That killed me. But there might be something to putting bin Laden or Kim Jong on the cover... let's really test the limits of the Madden Curse and use it for the greater good.

My Uneventful Friday.

I worked, I saw School for Scoundrels (review later, short version: a few chuckles, not as funny as it could have been), and I went to sleep. I slept hard-- long week.

Tonight's an ex-coworker's surprise birthday party, tomorrow I've got tickets to the last Washington Nationals game of the season, next week plans to be hell at work.

My blogging motivation, on a scale of 1 to 10? Rougly fractional today. Perhaps I'll find more inspiration later, but right now? I want to go back to sleep.

BUMPED: What's Everybody Reading?

While yakking on the phone this weekend with my friend Shevonne, she mentioned that she needed some new books to read, but had no idea of what was good out there.

So, in the interest of exploiting my seven readers on this site for the purposes of good, I figured I'd ask all of you what you're reading right now.

Also, specifically, if you have any recommendations for good biographies or autobiographies, I know those would be up Shevonne's alley right now. Don't have to be new books, but she's looking all over the map-- e.g. everything from historical political figures to modern-day people.

As for me? I like to keep my reading light.

Shaun Alexander Out Indefinitely.

Okay, reading this story about Seattle Seahawks running back Shaun Alexander's injury, you wouldn't find a single mention of the real reason he's out injured.

As any football/video game fan can tell you, it's the Madden Curse.



I only mention this because Bill Simmons will write about it as a big revelation tomorrow. Or Friday, or whenever the hell he posts his next piece.

The World's Worst Toilets.

Curiously enough, "Philadelphia" isn't on this list.

A Friendly Timewaster.

Excuse me, make that an annoying timewaster.

How 'Bout Them Skins?

MUCH better.

Of course, it's only the Houston Texans. My college intramural squad could have beaten the Houston Texans. Still, it's obvious that a little Clinton Portis goes a long way.

I'm an old NFC Central veteran, I've always been a "run, run, run" guy. I've spent many a year watching the Redskins in disgust as they neglected to focus on the run, first when they had Stephen Davis, and then Clinton Portis. It's one thing if you don't have the talent in the backfield, but limiting your Pro Bowl-caliber backs to only 15-20 carries a game is no way to win a matchup. Unfortunately, for years that's exactly what the pass-loving Redskins did-- trying to do too much with too little in the passing game while ignoring the outstanding running squads they've assembled.

Well, no more. Portis had a fantastic game, as did Ladell Betts. Even better, the running game took all of the pressure off 87-year-old Mark Brunell, allowing him to complete an NFL record of 22-for-22 passes at one point. Everything clicked offensively.

Okay, *almost* everything-- the penalties today were murder. I counted more multiple-penalty plays on behalf of the Redskins than I've seen in almost any NFL game, the lack of discipline was just plain ugly.

Never mind, that can be fixed in time. For now, the Redskins have their win-- oh, and the Bears do, too!-- so all is good for a Sunday.