Readers of Garfield Ridge know that I'm a huge fan of master thespian Steven Seagal. I love his movies, I love his music, and now, I can even drink what he drinks.
Introducing Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Energy Drink. For when you need that extra pick-me-up just before you smash a pool stick over a thug's head.
Lightning Bolt, the one and only energy drink crafted by martial arts expert and herbal specialist Steven Seagal, is the only all natural 100% juice energy drink on the market.
Really? The one and only energy drink by Steven Seagal?? Then who makes Big Red, the bubble gum-flavored beverage of choice? I'm confused-- is that Don "The Dragon" Wilson's special hooch?
Instead of bubble gum, Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt is packed with all sorts of wholesome all-natural herbal ingredients that evil polluting industrialists would never want you to drink.
With a healthy dosing of Tibetan Goji Berry, Asian Cordyceps, B-Vitamins, Green Tea, Yerba Mate, Ginseng, Ginkgo Biloba, Guarana, and Policosanols, Lightning Bolt will give you the strength you need to punch your adversary’s faces through plate glass windows day in and day out!
I didn't write that. Honest-- it's from the site.
And if the great taste of Yerba Mate and Policosanols don't get you in a Zen state, then you'll be thrilled to know that Lightning Bolt is
100% Pure Steven Seagal Juice
Designed for intense mortal combat or any extreme situation requiring ultimate energy
Can has Steven Seagal’s face on it (who could ask for more!?!)
True, true. Who *could* ask for more?
Not I. . . not I.