Garfield Ridge

Garfield Ridge Exclusive: Photos Of Tom & Katie's Baby.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have birthed their child.

LOS ANGELES - The Tomkitten has arrived. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, the high-profile pair dubbed "TomKat" by the media, had a baby girl Tuesday, said Cruise spokesman Arnold Robinson.

The baby, named Suri, weighed 7 pounds, 7 ounces and measured 20 inches long, he said. "Both mother and daughter are doing well," Robinson said in a prepared statement.

The name Suri has its origins in Hebrew, meaning "princess," or in Persian, meaning "red rose," the statement said.

In an INTERNET exclusive, Garfield Ridge has obtained the VERY FIRST PHOTO of little baby Suri. Click below to see it after the jump.

Continue reading "Garfield Ridge Exclusive: Photos Of Tom & Katie's Baby."

Is CNN *Really* This Lazy?

Here's the CNN story:

Google unveils satellite map feature

SAN FRANCISCO, California (AP) -- Online search engine leader Google Inc. has unveiled a new feature that will enable its users to zoom in on homes and businesses using satellite images, an advance that may raise privacy concerns as well as intensify the competitive pressures on its rivals.

...

The satellite maps could unnerve some people, even as the technology impresses others. That's because the Keyhole technology is designed to provide close-up perspective of specific addresses.

Keyhole's previous government ties also have raised anxieties.

Founded in 2001, Keyhole raised some money in 2003 from In-Q-Tel, a venture capital firm backed by the Central Intelligence Agency. Leading up to the Google sale, Keyhole's roughly 10,000 customers included a cross-section of government agencies.

My question of the day is: how dumb *is* CNN?

First off, this may be a new feature for Google, but it's not at all a new feature on the web. Microsoft has had it for many years via their TerraServer website.

Oh, and unlike the Keyhole service, they've made it available for free.

I'll grant you that Google's implementation is very slick, but by the looks of Google's maps, the imagery they're using is similar if not identical to that on the TerraServer site.

Second off, again, who, exactly, is voicing privacy concerns? CNN mentions them, but doesn't cite anyone who's complaining. I always love that about the press-- everything "raises issues" or "creates concerns." No names of those people with issues or concerns are ever released, but hey, CNN says those issues and concerns exist, so it *must* be true.

Ya know, I am certainly very concerned with the issues raised by the satellite imagery at Google Maps. Why, it's entirely possible that some enterprising analyst could determine from an overhead map of my home that I didn't mow my lawn that week.

And that I've got engine parts strewn all over the backyard, next to the cracked porcelain toilet and chickenwire dog pen for Flash.

Yup, this is a tragedy for our privacy. Where's the ACLU when you need them?

Continue reading "Is CNN *Really* This Lazy?"

Congratulations To Sobekpundit!

As of this morning, the ol' croc has a healthy new addition to the brood.

Stop by and congratulate him!


Continue reading "Congratulations To Sobekpundit!"

Ace Is "Retiring."

That's what he's saying on his site.

Yeah, sure, right. Ace is "retiring," like I'm "eating less meat" and "stopping the constant, undignified stimulation of my love organ to unmentionable imagery on INTERNET."

Still, I guess we have to entertain his little joke for a short while. At least until his cry for attention garners enough praise and begging to get him to return to his keyboard.

Maybe he's upset more people didn't buy his shirt?

Oh well. If, in the end, Ace really does go. . . sheeeeit, more hits for Garfield Ridge!

Hell, as long as we're all here-- enjoy this: one seriously pissed off panda. No panda bear, no!

Let's see Ace give you THAT in retirement!

Is It Just Me, Or Is "24" Scripted By Monkeys?

Don't get me wrong, I love the show.

But man, is 24 just the dumbest good thing, like, ever? I mean, even dumber good than licking varnish, or drinking creme de menthe straight from the bottle?

Let's see, just from tonight's episode (I'd give a spoiler warning, but c'mon; they're all the same damn episode):

-- Jack Bauer conducts an assault on the terrorist warehouse. Then he gets in a gunfight with another terrorist posing as an FBI agent. Then he tries to talk a terrorist pilot away from using his hijacked F-117 to shoot down Air Force One.

And he manages to do all this with a sucking stab wound in his gut.

And with not so much as a peep out of Jack!


I DON'T HAVE TIME TO PEEP!!!

-- F-117 stealth fighters can now carry anti-aircraft missiles. Because, you see, the script says so.

-- Paul has major surgery less than an hour ago and emerges with a bullet near his spine, paralysis from the waist down, and engagingly chatty with his estranged wife.

Did they even use anesthetic on this guy? Or did they trust his stiff British lip to hold back the pain?

Then again, those CTU doctors are brilliant. Last season, they patched up Tony's massive neck wound and had him back out on the street to commit treason in, like, two episodes.

Not too shabby for a clinic that can't keep a teenage girl-- their only patient-- from slitting her wrists.

-- By my account, Edgar has logged more work hours in a single day than the every current employee of the Department of Commerce, combined. His time-and-a-half is gonna *own*.

-- Still, no one at CTU ever says "thank you". Unless they're in love. Or, unless they're about to kill someone.

-- Where was Curtis tonight? Taking a scowl break?

-- Do the CTU support staff have any feelings?

I mean, they all seem to like Jack. But when you think about it, I'd hate working for Jack Bauer.

For one, he gets to do all the field ops while I get to work "the perimeter". And he's always stealing my SUV because his mission's always more important than mine. And after he just nonchalantly plugs a few terrorists with 9mm justice, I'm stuck cleaning up the mess. AFTER I set up yet another fucking perimeter, that is.

-- Speaking of perimeters, do you ever think it's possible one of these vaunted CTU perimeters might actually, you know, work? The most wanted man in America, and he keeps slipping past trained counterterrorist forces. This ain't Zarqawi in Iraq-- it's the Mummy. He should be easy to find, even among the freaks of Los Angeles.

Anyways, I could go on and on here, but I have to reroute a satellite now in order to pick up a snack on the infrared. I'll let you know how it goes after I've established a perimeter.

Go Read See-Dubya.

Friend of Garfield Ridge* See-Dubya is sitting in over at Patterico.com, doing a little blogging of his own.

You must check him out.

*To become a Friend of Garfield Ridge, please mention my blog in public tomorrow to someone you know will read this site.

This Story Is Hilarious.

Read it here.

Those who get the joke will get the joke.

The rest of you?

I sooo envy your innocence.

Welcome To Washington Nationals Baseball.

Ahhh, Opening Day.

This really should be a national holiday. But it's not, because The Man needs his wage-slaves.

Nevertheless, I rushed through work today in order to get out early. I headed to a tavern down the street, saddled up to the bar with a beer, and caught the beginning of the Washington Nationals' first regular season game ever.

They lost to the Philadelphia Phillies, 8 to 4.

The verdict? They kinda suck, but not as bad as I feared.

Oh, I can tell that I'm in for a lonnnng season. Frustration, disappointment, anger-- all the hallmarks of being a fan of a losing team.

That said, the Nats didn't phone it in. In fact, the Nats had multiple opportunities today to make something good happen.

The pitching was a little rusty. There were at least three, maybe four times in the game where the Nats loaded bases up with Phillies. Washington managed to get out of the pickle most of the time, giving up a run here or there but no more. However, Philly's Kenny Lofton hit a three-run homer in the fifth that just crushed.

In between, the Nats had some sloppy fielding. Not quite Keystone Kops, but just slightly. . . off. Off just enough that Washington missed making some key plays that might have kept the score down. A little too slow to the bag, a little too errant with the the throw, and the Phillies were able to take advantage of Washington's weakness.

I can chalk it up to Opening Day jitters. In fact, I *will* chalk it up to such jitters.

Hey, a guy has to keep hope alive.


Vinny Castilla bobbles a ball. Yup, it was that kind of day.

Still, the Nats stayed in the game, and had they made a play or two late in the game, they might have staged a comeback.

Then again, in the end, all it means to me at this point is pride. They don't have to win this year, they just have to play baseball for me down the street. Entertain me now-- the winning can come later.

While the Washington Nationals seem like a new team fashioned out of whole cloth, it must always be remembered that these are the Montreal Expos South (or North, if we measure from the Expos' "home away from home" in Puerto Rico). Thus, the Nats won't be putting together a playoff run anytime soon, especially not in the highly competitive National League East.

Huh, National League. . . it's gonna take some time to get used to that.

You see, I grew up a Chicago White Sox Fan. Then, when I moved out east, I watched the Baltimore Orioles, and cheered on the Boston Red Sox. My whole baseball life has been spent cheering on American League teams. And cursing American League teams. And damning the New York Yankees, like any patriotic American.

Now, for the first time in my life, I have to learn who the teams and players are in the National League. Pardon me while I express confusion.

Whenever I've thought of the National League, it's been with thoughts of cute and plucky teams that in this high-tech day and age still foolishly risk their pitcher come near a bat. Teams that I couldn't cheer on-- because, let's be honest, who really cares?-- but they've all been teams I couldn't hate, either. Well, except for the Atlanta Braves, but that's just because they are so damn ubiquitous (gee, thanks Ted Turner, for making me hate your entire city!).

Today, however, I crossed a milestone. While the TV to my front was tuned to the Washington game, the TV next to it played the New York Mets / Cincinnati Reds game. And I actually found myself rooting against the Mets.

Never before have I rooted against the Mets. I mean, how could you? They're the *METS*. The lovable losers. The guys who have to play as "the other team from New York." They're the Fredo to Michael, the Roy to Siegfried, the Sloth to Jake Fratelli.

Yet root against them I did. I cheered against them, hoping the Reds would beat one of Washington's division rivals. Which the Reds did, with a dramatic walk-off homer.

Hmmm.

Perhaps I *need* to get angry with Washington's opponents. Rather than letting the Nats get by with my lackadaisical attitude of "It's only a game," perhaps I need to harness my psychic powers of evil to energize my "concern rays" into beams of National League destruction aimed squarely at the Phillies, the Marlins, the Braves, and the Mets. After all, my concern rays won the Chicago Bulls six NBA championships, not to mention one Boston Red Sox World Series.

Yes, all is clear now.

My cheer must become a killing cheer.

Hero.

Army Sgt. 1st Class Paul Ray Smith, 1970-2003.

Read here. And here.

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UPDATE: Even better, read this page.

A Slow Posting Week Ahead.

Got a busy week here at work ahead of me-- we begin briefing our appropriations staffers. And, as anyone who's spent time in Washington knows, these guys are the important guys. 

Old inside-the-Beltway joke:

What's the difference between the Armed Services committees and the Defense Appropriations subcommittees?

What's an "Armed Services committee"?

It's all about money in this town, and the next few weeks are all about making sure my portfolio gets funded. Hence, a lot of work ahead of me.

Outside of work, I am still going to try to get out of here a little early today so I can catch the opening Nationals game against the Phillies. We'll see if the inbox Gods bless me with the opportunity.

Until then. . . COURAGE.